I've got a bazillion thoughts twirling around in my head!
Thing #1)
I would like to say this...
....With Jesus. =)
Like, love love. Legit love.
God has been reminding me lately of things that He promised me long ago. Things that I'd been praying for...and I guess kinda stopped praying for....and I'm just now seeing how God had his hand in that situation when I didn't even realize it.
This whole realization was sparked by me remembering that I had asked God to help me change a specific thing about myself while I was away in St. Louis this year. And just the other day, I remembered that I USED to act a certain way, and now, that thought never even crosses my mind.
Today in the car (with Dill and Jo) we were talking about how we used to be when we first started year team. Remembering things that we used to argue about or habits we had. And in that moment, (although, I'm pretty sure the boys were unaware of this lol) I was overwhelmed with joy because God was showing me even MORE things in my life that have changed.
And I started to realize something, God is sending me home BECAUSE I'm a new person. So...there's no need to worry about whether or not I'll "fit in" the way that I used to. God has prepared the way. And God planned this from the beginning. That I would come to St. Louis, re-commit my life to Him, and fall in love with Him all over again.
Thing #2:
I am called to Lebanon, OR.
Ha.
It makes me laugh to say that. I guess because you typically hear people say things like, "God has called me to Africa" or "God has called me to minister to the poor in China" But, no.
God has called ME to Lebanon. Jealous? =) It's ok, you can be jealous. =)
I just had this discovery the other day. Thought I'd share it with all of ya's.
Thing #3:
GOD is faithful. HAVE I mentioned this in any post before? I feel like a broken record.
BUT here's the thing, at the beginning of year team, I stinkin had no confidence in the gifts God has given me. I mean, honestly, I had none. (Just ask the boys) And God has been So patient with me. The past few weeks I've really been trying to understand this certain gift that I know God has given me and I've been asking God to speak to me clearly, and then SHOW ME that it's Him speaking so that I can learn how to discern His voice from my own thoughts. And...at first I was like, "ok, maybe this is ridiculous to ask God to 'prove Himself' to me" BUT...I did it anyways, because I figured that the worst he could do was say no. =)
ANYWAYS, on Sunday...Dude....on SUNDAY. Well...let's just put it this way, God answers prayer. I was overwhelmed. And in love. And....hence the video at the beginning of those post. lol
Ok wow it's getting late.
I'm gonna go to bed now.
Oregon peeps- 2 months! =)
Missouri peeps- 2 months! =(
Ha. =P
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Monday, March 22, 2010
Youth group, Marriage, Surprises, & Obedience.
Looking back- the last couple of weeks have been really interesting.
I feel like life has been going in slow motion. The days seem SO long! And for that, I am SO thankful! I have been praying that God would help me make the most of every day that I have left here. And again, He's been so faithful to do that.
Updates:
Youth group in Union continues to be one of the highlights of my week. God has given me such a love for those kids! I always look forward to seeing what He's gonna do that week and who He's going to speak to. It's such a blessing to see God working in these kids' lives in such a powerful way, even though they're only in Jr. High and High School. God is not limited by age. =)
Our reading has been so challenging and exciting to me lately! God has been working on redefining my definition of marriage. Helping me better understand it's purpose, what it's meant to portray, how the world has messed this up SO badly, and how to go about sticking up for that as a single person. He's been teaching me different ways that I can support others marriages. AND Revealing to me how some of the desires in my heart don't quite line up with what He wants for me. Helping me understand what the important things are and reminding me that as I'm on this journey called life, my relationship with God will always continue to be #1. Even after I get married, the relationship with my husband will be second. So....it just kinda makes sense to continue to grow closer to God, trusting that He will place me in a relationship in the right time SO THAT I can better accomplish the things He has for me.
OH! This is fun news! =) SO, the boys and I have had a little bit of a difference of opinion on the importance of "quality team time" (Anyone who knows me can probably guess which side of the argument I was on) ANYWAYS, it's kinda been this on-going thing in the back of my mind that's bothered me all year. I've wanted to go spend time together at the arch, and some people didn't want to take time for that. Well, God has been doing some really amazing things among the 3 of us lately. Helping us learn to communicate and understand where the other is coming from. SO, last week someone had the idea to take another Costco trip. And, amazingly, everyone agreed to Saturday afternoon. =) So, we finished up babysitting on Saturday, and headed to Costco. We had samples, ate a polish dog (I will NEVER again spend an afternoon with them after they eat polish dogs....Oh man...), bought some fun things...THEN Josiah said he had to take some mail to some guy....but he didn't really know where he lived. All he knew is that we needed to follow the signs to get to the arch, then find Washington Street. So, we get to Washington street...
and Josiah says, "I think you have to turn right."
And I'm like, "JO! If we turn right, the only thing that's down there is the river, and the arch. There are no apartments."
Jo- "I'm pretty sure it's right. Dillon, just go right."
Me- "Jo! you already got us lost twice today! Trust me, it's NOT right!"
Jo- "Trust my directional skills!"
Me- "You dont have any Direc-----------wait a second!!!"
=)
They surprised me with a trip to the arch. It was really sweet. And even though Jo didn't get to go to the top, we still had fun walking around, learning about the Oregon trail, taking pictures. I really don't think they understand how much things like that mean to me. But, that's alright. =) I'm gonna miss these guys. I wish they could be in my life forever...BUT I guess that's what heaven's for. Well, that and praising Jesus. Perhaps in the opposite order that I said it. =)
Hmm...what else...God is teaching me what it means to be joyfully obedient. Learning that there IS joy in obeying Him and doing what He wants me to do instead of what I want to do. And not just this little tiny amount of joy, but fullness of joy.
"FULLNESS of Joy? Umm, yes, I think I'll have that. Thank you."
I've got some reading to catch up on today, so I think I'll go ahead and do that.
I feel like life has been going in slow motion. The days seem SO long! And for that, I am SO thankful! I have been praying that God would help me make the most of every day that I have left here. And again, He's been so faithful to do that.
Updates:
Youth group in Union continues to be one of the highlights of my week. God has given me such a love for those kids! I always look forward to seeing what He's gonna do that week and who He's going to speak to. It's such a blessing to see God working in these kids' lives in such a powerful way, even though they're only in Jr. High and High School. God is not limited by age. =)
Our reading has been so challenging and exciting to me lately! God has been working on redefining my definition of marriage. Helping me better understand it's purpose, what it's meant to portray, how the world has messed this up SO badly, and how to go about sticking up for that as a single person. He's been teaching me different ways that I can support others marriages. AND Revealing to me how some of the desires in my heart don't quite line up with what He wants for me. Helping me understand what the important things are and reminding me that as I'm on this journey called life, my relationship with God will always continue to be #1. Even after I get married, the relationship with my husband will be second. So....it just kinda makes sense to continue to grow closer to God, trusting that He will place me in a relationship in the right time SO THAT I can better accomplish the things He has for me.
OH! This is fun news! =) SO, the boys and I have had a little bit of a difference of opinion on the importance of "quality team time" (Anyone who knows me can probably guess which side of the argument I was on) ANYWAYS, it's kinda been this on-going thing in the back of my mind that's bothered me all year. I've wanted to go spend time together at the arch, and some people didn't want to take time for that. Well, God has been doing some really amazing things among the 3 of us lately. Helping us learn to communicate and understand where the other is coming from. SO, last week someone had the idea to take another Costco trip. And, amazingly, everyone agreed to Saturday afternoon. =) So, we finished up babysitting on Saturday, and headed to Costco. We had samples, ate a polish dog (I will NEVER again spend an afternoon with them after they eat polish dogs....Oh man...), bought some fun things...THEN Josiah said he had to take some mail to some guy....but he didn't really know where he lived. All he knew is that we needed to follow the signs to get to the arch, then find Washington Street. So, we get to Washington street...
and Josiah says, "I think you have to turn right."
And I'm like, "JO! If we turn right, the only thing that's down there is the river, and the arch. There are no apartments."
Jo- "I'm pretty sure it's right. Dillon, just go right."
Me- "Jo! you already got us lost twice today! Trust me, it's NOT right!"
Jo- "Trust my directional skills!"
Me- "You dont have any Direc-----------wait a second!!!"
=)
They surprised me with a trip to the arch. It was really sweet. And even though Jo didn't get to go to the top, we still had fun walking around, learning about the Oregon trail, taking pictures. I really don't think they understand how much things like that mean to me. But, that's alright. =) I'm gonna miss these guys. I wish they could be in my life forever...BUT I guess that's what heaven's for. Well, that and praising Jesus. Perhaps in the opposite order that I said it. =)
Hmm...what else...God is teaching me what it means to be joyfully obedient. Learning that there IS joy in obeying Him and doing what He wants me to do instead of what I want to do. And not just this little tiny amount of joy, but fullness of joy.
"FULLNESS of Joy? Umm, yes, I think I'll have that. Thank you."
I've got some reading to catch up on today, so I think I'll go ahead and do that.
Missouri peeps- Thanks for reading my blog. I love ya. =)
Oregon peeps- I miss and love you! Be home soon!
Any-other-state peeps- I don't even know you. =P
Friday, March 12, 2010
The latest...
I've been putting this off for so long...and I'm not really sure why. =/
Hmm...where to start...
Well, probably the biggest news as of right now is this:
I am moving back to Oregon after year team. For those of you who are saying, "yeah, duh. What was the other option?" Feel free to skip down a few paragraphs...
But for those of you who understand the hugemassiveness (Yes, I made up this word) of this statement, read on. =)
(I'll try to keep this short...) So, right before Mobilise, I was really struggling with this decision. I had quite a few concerns about moving back home and I've absolutely fallen in love with this city and the people here. Our training week here in St. Louis was the Mon-Fri before Mobilise, and I just KNEW that God was going to make the decision clear to me. I responded to an altar call, and in that moment, I heard God speak to me more clearly than I ever have.
In short, He reminded me of what I was, what I am now, and gave me a glimpse of what I will be. Reminding me of how far I've come, of the gifts he's placed in me, and stirring a new desire in me to go shake things up back home. I felt a peace like never before (regarding this decision) and I knew that God had his hand in me going back to Oregon.
I AM excited to go home. But, I've got to be honest, every day I pray that God gives me the strength to get through these last few days here with joy. Because, although there is no better place on earth than living in God's will, I DO know that I'm going to miss everyone here terribly and I MIGHT have a tendency to spend these last 2 months being sad that I'm leaving....which would just be lame. =)
So...that's exciting news for some...not so exciting for others. Truth is, I hear almost daily that I should "just stay here" and I truly truly would love to. But, I know that God has such great things in store for me, and the River Center, and all of Oregon. Heck, He's got great plans for the Northwest. =)
In other news:
These past few weeks have been so great. My love for these boys (Jo & Dill) grows every day...it's retarded! At the beginning of the year, I wanted to punch them both almost daily! =) We really have grown SO much as a team, it's amazing. It's been great to have 2 guys in my life that I know I'm safe around. Like 2 big brothers I always wanted. (Except that they're both younger than me....I forget that sometimes though)
Josiah has grown so much in his ability to lead worship! It has seriously been a dramatic change. He went from this half-way decent guitar player who sang random songs all the time, to a man who is truly after God's heart, worshiping more than anyone I know, becoming more and more skilled in his guitar playing, and learning to truly LEAD people into worship! It's been so amazing to see God really work on his heart, teaching him how to put his wisdom and knowledge into words that are helpful to other people, and it's ALSO been amazing to see his love for Dillon grow. (this one was sometimes a challenge, let me tell ya!) Ha! So proud of him!
Dillon has seriously transformed/morphed/changed/shifted (whichever of these words is more dramatic) into a leader in the last few months. He's always had such a huge heart for lost people (Evangelism is CLEARLY one of his gifts!) and it's been intense to see him learn to balance his heart for other people with the practical day to day life. He's gone from participating in a prayer meeting, to initiating nights of prayer, and directing things. His passion is so intense that it's really really difficult not to be affected by it. Lol. He's probably one of the best question-askers ever. He can strike up a conversation with anyone and immediately get their attention. He always has these somewhat odd, but thought provoking questions. He hears from God. And it changes his life daily. What a concept...
Here's a great example: Right now, Dillon is sitting across the room from me and he said,
"Have you ever thought what it would be like if the whole world fell down in the Spirit all at once? And Then they all get up and shout 'YEAH JESUS!' all at the same time?"
"Umm, no, Dillon. Can't say that I have." =P
It does make me a little sad knowing that we only have 2 months left together. And I really do hope that we keep in touch. (at least a little bit!) But, I know God has such amazing things planned for these guys! We joke about the three of us meeting up again some day to plant a crazy awesome church. =)
So, about ME. God has really been teaching me about being confident in my gifts. (I think this is a lesson I've been learning slowly but surely all year long...) But, I tend to get quiet or not speak out when I'm around people that are intimidating to me. (Usually people that are older than me) and God has really been challenging that. Testing me obedience....*gulp* It's been an amazing and scary process. But obeying God is such a freeing thing! (Try to make THAT make sense in your mind!)
A few days ago I was really thinking about some of the things I want to get involved in when I get back to the River Center and even getting a little frustrated because I don't know how I can transfer over the things I'm doing here, and be effective in the same way back home. And one of the ladies in the church was talking to me about the importance of realizing that the specific things that I do at Jubilee aren't necessarily things that God will have me do in the River Center. The main thing is that God has taught me about my leadership skills, what my strengths and weaknesses are, and it's yet to be determined how those things will play out once I get back home. But just seeing that I AM capable of so much more than I knew, is such a huge thing to learn.
So, the conclusion is this: I'm excited to move home, not excited to leave here. This will always be my second home. It just kinda sucks that is has to be SO far away. =) Thank God for planes...
Well...we have some things to get done this morning before we head off to Wentzville for the weekend.
Love and miss you all. =)
Brit
Hmm...where to start...
Well, probably the biggest news as of right now is this:
I am moving back to Oregon after year team. For those of you who are saying, "yeah, duh. What was the other option?" Feel free to skip down a few paragraphs...
But for those of you who understand the hugemassiveness (Yes, I made up this word) of this statement, read on. =)
(I'll try to keep this short...) So, right before Mobilise, I was really struggling with this decision. I had quite a few concerns about moving back home and I've absolutely fallen in love with this city and the people here. Our training week here in St. Louis was the Mon-Fri before Mobilise, and I just KNEW that God was going to make the decision clear to me. I responded to an altar call, and in that moment, I heard God speak to me more clearly than I ever have.
In short, He reminded me of what I was, what I am now, and gave me a glimpse of what I will be. Reminding me of how far I've come, of the gifts he's placed in me, and stirring a new desire in me to go shake things up back home. I felt a peace like never before (regarding this decision) and I knew that God had his hand in me going back to Oregon.
I AM excited to go home. But, I've got to be honest, every day I pray that God gives me the strength to get through these last few days here with joy. Because, although there is no better place on earth than living in God's will, I DO know that I'm going to miss everyone here terribly and I MIGHT have a tendency to spend these last 2 months being sad that I'm leaving....which would just be lame. =)
So...that's exciting news for some...not so exciting for others. Truth is, I hear almost daily that I should "just stay here" and I truly truly would love to. But, I know that God has such great things in store for me, and the River Center, and all of Oregon. Heck, He's got great plans for the Northwest. =)
In other news:
These past few weeks have been so great. My love for these boys (Jo & Dill) grows every day...it's retarded! At the beginning of the year, I wanted to punch them both almost daily! =) We really have grown SO much as a team, it's amazing. It's been great to have 2 guys in my life that I know I'm safe around. Like 2 big brothers I always wanted. (Except that they're both younger than me....I forget that sometimes though)
Josiah has grown so much in his ability to lead worship! It has seriously been a dramatic change. He went from this half-way decent guitar player who sang random songs all the time, to a man who is truly after God's heart, worshiping more than anyone I know, becoming more and more skilled in his guitar playing, and learning to truly LEAD people into worship! It's been so amazing to see God really work on his heart, teaching him how to put his wisdom and knowledge into words that are helpful to other people, and it's ALSO been amazing to see his love for Dillon grow. (this one was sometimes a challenge, let me tell ya!) Ha! So proud of him!
Dillon has seriously transformed/morphed/changed/shifted (whichever of these words is more dramatic) into a leader in the last few months. He's always had such a huge heart for lost people (Evangelism is CLEARLY one of his gifts!) and it's been intense to see him learn to balance his heart for other people with the practical day to day life. He's gone from participating in a prayer meeting, to initiating nights of prayer, and directing things. His passion is so intense that it's really really difficult not to be affected by it. Lol. He's probably one of the best question-askers ever. He can strike up a conversation with anyone and immediately get their attention. He always has these somewhat odd, but thought provoking questions. He hears from God. And it changes his life daily. What a concept...
Here's a great example: Right now, Dillon is sitting across the room from me and he said,
"Have you ever thought what it would be like if the whole world fell down in the Spirit all at once? And Then they all get up and shout 'YEAH JESUS!' all at the same time?"
"Umm, no, Dillon. Can't say that I have." =P
It does make me a little sad knowing that we only have 2 months left together. And I really do hope that we keep in touch. (at least a little bit!) But, I know God has such amazing things planned for these guys! We joke about the three of us meeting up again some day to plant a crazy awesome church. =)
So, about ME. God has really been teaching me about being confident in my gifts. (I think this is a lesson I've been learning slowly but surely all year long...) But, I tend to get quiet or not speak out when I'm around people that are intimidating to me. (Usually people that are older than me) and God has really been challenging that. Testing me obedience....*gulp* It's been an amazing and scary process. But obeying God is such a freeing thing! (Try to make THAT make sense in your mind!)
A few days ago I was really thinking about some of the things I want to get involved in when I get back to the River Center and even getting a little frustrated because I don't know how I can transfer over the things I'm doing here, and be effective in the same way back home. And one of the ladies in the church was talking to me about the importance of realizing that the specific things that I do at Jubilee aren't necessarily things that God will have me do in the River Center. The main thing is that God has taught me about my leadership skills, what my strengths and weaknesses are, and it's yet to be determined how those things will play out once I get back home. But just seeing that I AM capable of so much more than I knew, is such a huge thing to learn.
So, the conclusion is this: I'm excited to move home, not excited to leave here. This will always be my second home. It just kinda sucks that is has to be SO far away. =) Thank God for planes...
Well...we have some things to get done this morning before we head off to Wentzville for the weekend.
Love and miss you all. =)
Brit
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
