Grace grace grace.

Wow! =) God is so good. Good beyond words.

I am thoroughly amazed at how He is revealing himself to me and making things clear. There are so many things that I didn’t thoroughly understand before I came here and now I at least feel like I have a partial understanding. =) And…I know that there are multiple fountain-of-knowledge-people here that I can talk to at any time if I have a question.

So…here I am…sharing a couple of things that I have recently gained a better understanding of. =)

First off- Grace. Oh goodness gracious. There is SO much that I could say but I am going to attempt to keep it short. (anyone who reads this knows that I’m really not all that good at keeping things short…)
Ok, so, grace. Wow. We just finished reading God’s Lavish Grace. I would recommend this book to anyone. Because not only is it fascinating to learn all of the ways that God loves on us, Terry Virgo also backs up his points with scripture. Right now we’re reading a book called “A People Prepared” and in this book there’s also a great chapter on grace. When I got to this chapter, I was like…Sweet. I’ll just skim over this one. I mean, I just read an ENTIRE book on grace. WHAT could this one chapter teach me?

WRONG. =) Oh…so….WONDERFULLY wrong I was. =) I love this quote, “Make no mistake, legalism is another religion. It is not the gospel of Christ.” Whoa…….. many evangelical Christians know that the law cannot save them, but they continue to return to the law to make themselves “acceptable” to God. The book talks about how this is similar to the problem that Paul faced with the Galatians. The church there were saved by grace through faith in Jesus Christ but were being told that they needed to be circumcised in order to be saved. They were going back to their laws and traditions. Paul said to them, “How is it that you are turning back to those weak and miserable principles? Do you wish to be enslaved to them all over again? You are observing special days and months and seasons and years! I fear for you, that somehow I have wasted my efforts on you.” (Galatians 4:9-11)

According to Romans 7, we were all under the power of the law at one time. We were married to it. Terry Virgo describes the law as our husband….a very fault finding husband. Always telling us what we do wrong and never lifting a finger to help. The law makes us aware of our short comings. And we know that we can’t argue with it because “the law is always right.” All of this only leaves us feeling condemned.

So….here we are…married to the law/nagging husband. And it’s not a fun situation to be in. But, ALAS! There’s hope! =) In walks Jesus: A picture of Love, forgiveness, mercy and grace. Ooh handsome! Problem is, we can’t be married to two people at once. Yeah, bad plan. There’s no escape…..

FALSE!!!!!!!!!!!!! As a Christian, you have this hope right here…ready for it? K….”You also died to the law through the body of Christ, that you might belong to another, to him who was raised from the dead, in order that we might bear fruit to God.” (Romans 7:4) OR….as Paul said, “For through the law I died to the law so that I might live for God. I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.” (Galatians 2:19-20) Here’s the thing that his chapter taught me that I’ve never thought of before…….The LAW didn’t die. We did. Ha.

The book goes on to say that now that we’re married to Jesus, we can’t commit adultery by returning to our old husband (the law), we have died to him. Because…here’s the deal, the law can’t produce a Godly life. In Galatians 3:21, Paul says, “if a law had been given which was able to impart life, then righteousness would indeed have been based on law.” It is quite clear that the law cannot impart life. It can only draw lines of wrong and right. Praise God that we have been released from the Law so that we can serve in the newness of the Spirit and not in oldness of the letter. (Romans 7:6)

Another thing I learned in this chapter was that “justification” and “condemnation” LITERALLY mean the opposite thing. (Don’t laugh at me…)
To condemn is the declare someone guilty.
To justify is to declare someone not guilty.
Therefore, we cannot be both at the same time. If God has freely justified us, who can condemn us? If God has declared us righteous, who can declare us guilty?

Galatians 5:9 “a little yeast works through the whole batch of dough”
Yeah….Ok, so, this verse…I’ve never really thought about it as relating to the law…(I thought it was talking about sin…) UNTIL I read this book! Paul is saying that a little legalism can ruin the entire church.

The last paragraph in this book is good enough that I’m gonna type the whole thing out… =)

Here goes, “People who are genuinely freed from the bondage of legalism become highly motivated to share their newfound joy. In conclusion, it is good to remember that churches which are built on the foundation of grace are different from those built on any other foundation. They become like Zion, the joy of the whole earth. No wonder people are eager to be added to such companies and discover the joy of the Lord is their strength!”

Gah! (That was a gasp/yelp/scream of excitement) lol

Here’s the deal….God is so good. You really have no clue. For real. =) He’s better than you can fathom. And THAT makes me wanna have a little freak-out moment. Lol

THIS is the kind of stuff that I DESPERATELY want to understand better. Cuz here’s the deal…..SO many people don’t understand the concept of grace and because of that are living under the law! Good Lord, that has to be miserable! Praise God for his Grace…..

Personally…I kinda feel like not believing in the Grace of God would actually saying “what Jesus did for me isn’t quite good enough….so….I’m gonna continue to live under the law and IGNORE the fact that He sent His son to die so that I don’t have to….” Ouch….Yeah….don’t even wanna go there.

There’s so much more I want to say…but the boys are upstairs having a worship session without me…and I CAN’T TAKE IT ANY MORE!!!! =) I gotta go join them!!!

Tomorrow I shall post again….We’re in Wentzville this weekend and I’m SURE I’ll have something to say about the amazing things God is doing here!

Love and miss you all!

Sunday oh Sunday

Another Sunday here in the Lou. =)

I'm doing better. (For those of you who don't know, ((since I have a fanbase of like 3 people besides my mom and dad LOL)) Sundays away from my home church have been the hardest thing for me to get used to here)

Wow...that was a confusing paragraph. =)

ANYWAYS Today was really quite incredible. This past week has really been quite incredible. God has just been like LAVISHING His love on me! I'm LITERALLY overwhelmed! Like, on the verge of tears at all times. It's insane.

I know this sounds retarded but sometimes I'm just amazed at the amount of love that God has for me. And when I'm in that place of realizing just how incredible I am in HIS eyes....I can hardly contain my excitement.

A few examples of God's Goodness:

This last week, we (year teamers) had a time of solitude....just spending 4 hours alone with God and then talking about if afterward. I had a HARD time getting focused at first...not really sure why. But once I did, God kept revealing all of these promises to me for my life! And I was like sitting on the couch sobbing because HE has such amazing plans for my life! I'm not saying that to brag, it's just that sometimes I don't really think about it...or I start to feel like I'm really not worthy of being loved so much and I imagine myself living a mediocre life. (<-------SIN) So yeah, that day was amazing.

We also spent a few hours one day praying and worshiping in one of the rooms downstairs @ the building. And while we were praying, God spoke something very clearly to me. And once again, I'm sitting there crying. And part of me thinks, "will I EVER be at the point where I can just hear from God and not be like, totally shocked to the point of tears that he would speak to ME?" and the other part of me thinks, "I NEVER want to get to the point where God's voice is just like any other voice."

We worked at the Food Pantry on Saturday morning.....Wow. Dillon was talking with one of the people that came to volunteer. He was a younger guy, and honestly, QUITE confused about "religion" and "Christianity." He was one of those guys that knows all the facts to disprove Jesus (or thinks he does anyways) and said that he's decided that "he's just not one of the ones that God has predestined" Wow..... So Dillon was having a conversation with this guy for a LONG time, And I was standing around the corner where the guy couldn't see me...just praying my guts out. And as I was praying I could see Dillon talking to him, and Dillon's face was just lit up...I could TELL by the look in his eyes that he LOVED this guy. (A new love for people is one thing that Dillon has really been praying for) And it brought tears to my eyes because I KNOW how badly Dillon wants to just love on people in a practical way, by just talking to them, and relating with them. Anyways, Dillon is gonna keep in touch with this guy. And I KNOW that God is going to do something amazing.

So, later Dillon came up to me and said, "hey, thanks for praying for me when I was talking to that guy" and I asked him how he knew I was praying for him...and he said, "Because I saw you standing there, and I immediately felt so much love for that guy! I knew it had to be from God!"

AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <-------------scream of excitement!

This entire post has been so scatterbrained.....because I'm so overflowing with just excitement that I don't even know how to put it into words!

God spoke to me in the food pantry....showing me how gracious He's been to me, and giving me a glimpse of what it must be like to walk in those people's shoes....

God spoke to me again in church today, telling me to go pray for someone.....

And it's so insane to me because I've never experienced God on this level for this amount of time. I mean, at conferences, sure.....at summer camp, sure....but this is like a lifestyle change and I'm so freakin stoked about it that I don't know what to do with myself. ("I'm not sure what to do with my hands" hahaha Hopefully someone knows what movie that's from...)

THEN...this weekend the Lanfermans spent time with the leaders of the River Center....and John spoke in church this morning.....and I'm so stinkin excited for everyone back home to catch onto the vision of where God is taking us! It's so phenomenally enormous. And I'm not sure that I even just used that word properly...but I don't care. =)

OH MAN I'm stoked! For what God's doing....for Lebanon.....for life. =)

Alrighty then, I think I've taken up enough of you're time....
IF you want to hear an amazing song that'll bring you to tears every time, click here....


Alright....peace out cub scouts. =)

Love and miss you all!

Common Grace & Baked Goods

It's been an entire week since I've blogged?!?!

Whoa.

I didn't even realize that it had been that long. =) My bad....

Hmmm....let's see....this week has been alright so far. (Then again, it's only Tuesday. And Tuesday is our first day back at the office. lol)

I've been on this crazy baking kick! What is my problem?!?! The other day after church I made Sour cream cookies and pumpkin bars with cream cheese frosting. Then I made Tuna casserole for Renee and I for dinner. (Seth and Shannon are out of town until Sunday) It's kinda funny cuz Renee and I joke about being like a married couple. lol Like we'll get home and sit and talk about our day.....and tonight when she got home from the gym I had dinner ready for her. lol Homemade chicken strips and mac & cheese. And Brownies.....hahaha I gotta admit, it's kind of fun having a roommate. Especially one that you get along with. =)

ANYWAYS.....Today we met with Mike Lawson to go over last week's reading. The book of Judges and a chapter in Grudem's Bible Doctrine on "Common Grace"

Ok, am I the only one that's never heard of this before? Cuz I felt like a retard reading about it...like it was a COMPLETELY new concept for me. I was like blown away.

COMMON grace....not to be confused with saving grace.

Common grace is available to anyone, even unbelievers. And there was even a section in the book that talked about how God sometimes pours out this common grace on unbelievers MORE than believers. Like, have you ever thought to yourself that it's just not fair how some people, who happen to not be Christians, are just so talented, or wealthy, or blessed with beautiful children or whatever? Yeah, Cuz I have. And Grudem talks about how God sometimes blesses unbelievers in order that they might be saved. Reminds me of an ancient song..."It's your kindness, Lord, that leads us to repentance...." Yeah. Uh huh. Crazy.

I was just like in awe of the whole concept! Call me retarded if you want. =) But I found it fascinating. I wish I had my book with me to help me out a little here...lol

Anyways, this past week has been good. Been trying to stay in touch with people...although it's sometimes difficult. I always love getting texts or facebook messages from people back home though. Gotta admit, I miss everyone alot more than I thought I would. I find myself thinking about really random people that I didn't realize that I cared that much about....(wow that makes me sound like an awful person. But it's true.)

I'm so excited to see everyone again!!! I keep telling myself, "you'll be home visiting before you know it. Just relax."

That works for the most part. =)

Well...I just finished 1 Samuel tonight and I think I'm gonna get a little bit of a head start on 2 Samuel before heading to bed.

BY THE WAY, the pastor of Jubilee here in St. Louis challenged all the staff to do a 90 day Bible challenge....(reading through the entire Bible in 90 days) So...they've all been reading their brains out. Since us year-teamers have been reading through the Bible also (at a slower pace) we waited until they caught up with us in Judges, and now I plan on reading along with them on their 90-day plan. It's pretty much a book a day. Kinda crazy....but awesome at the same time. The accountability is great and it's kinda cool to just get an overview of the Bible. So many incredible stories!

=) I love Jesus.

Alrighty then...that's all for tonight, folks. Sorry there isn't something more interesting to talk about. =)

<3 & Miss you!

One year ago today....

It's 10 am here in St. Louis....we're having a time of team worship and prayer...and as I'm sitting at my desk.....I'm thinking about where I was one year ago today. I remember because it's October 16th and today is Daniel's birthday. I was SO excited for his birthday...I love giving people presents. At this point in my life I was putting all of my identity in this relationship that was letting me down all the time. I had something extravagant planned for this special day...and once again, we started the day out by getting into a fight about something. I don't even remember what it was. The entire day was miserable. And I was devastated...

I remember one year ago today being a hopeless place. (or seemingly hopeless....) I wanted so badly to be once again in God's arms willing to do whatever He had for me, but I was SO distracted...and felt so far from what God had for me. Like...even if I DID try to get "right with God" it would be so hard and take so long that it almost seemed not worth it.

So...as I sit here right now, I'm once again, in awe of God's love for me. ONE YEAR ago...(That's not very long...) I was in a really awful place. NOT serving God with my whole heart and feeling hopeless. HOPELESS!?!?!? Hopeless couldn't be further from the truth.... It's never hopeless!

But LOOK where God has brought me? Wow. I don't even have the words to express how I feel. While I'm sitting here the song "Mighty to save" came on....

Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.

So take me as You find me,
All my fears and failures,
Fill my life again.

I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in,
Now I surrender.

Wow again. I don't know what else to say...

Today is an interesting day for me..... I mean, a part of me is still sad inside. I care about Daniel. I no longer feel obligated to "help him" find his way to God....but I do care. And it's hard to see someone that you care about throwing their life away. But the other part of me wants to rejoice because GOD is SO GOOD! HE is the reason that I'm here today following Him.

"All of my life,
in every season,
YOU are still God
I have a reason to sing.
I have a reason to worship."

Not sure why I felt the need to share all this....but I did. Perhaps someone can relate to it or be encouraged by it.

Alright....better get started on my last few chapters of God's Lavish Grace...

Love and miss you all!

Tuesday night thoughts...

I'm gonna try to make this quick....I'm sleepy. =)

But these are a few things that have been on my mind lately.

Today we had our Bible Doctrine meeting with Seth.....and the topic of conversation was "God's Providence" If this is something that you've never studied or thought much about, I would encourage you to do so. I'm not gonna explain everything in here...but I'll give a few highlights. =)

For one.....I was just like blown away by the thought that GOD (The GOD of the Universe) is truly in control of every single action. I mean, think about that for a second.....I know that this is like a "yeah, duh" kinda thing....but is it something that we actually consciously think about? Yeah, probably not nearly as often as we should! I mean....

When I walk into the store and find EXACTLY what I need- GOD
When I'm in a hurry and the light turns green- GOD
When I'm climbing into bed and my pillow is just the right degree of coldness- GOD
When it starts to rain outside- GOD
When it stops raining outside- GOD
When I wake up and I'm all cozy warm but not hot- GOD
When I'm lonely and get a text from a loved one at that exact moment- GOD

I think you get the picture. Of course there IS a flip side to that too....and that things that aren't so great are also God too. God cannot do evil.(Duh) BUT God does allow evil...

Not gonna lie...that is a TOUGH concept to wrap your head around. Probably one of the toughest. Because we all know that God can't do evil...and God is NOT evil.....But...God IS in all things....There's a really great quote in the book I'm reading about this but I don't have the book with me. So you're just gonna have to take my word for it. =)

Sometimes I find myself getting frustrated with the fact that I can't wrap my tiny human brain around some of these concepts. And then I remember this....If I already knew everything, I wouldn't be seeking God to find more knowledge. =) And if I THOUGHT I knew everything, then I would be putting myself on the same level as God. And well...That's not a good place to be. =)

So yeah, that talk was really good today. Tomorrow we have a meeting with Mick Vedova to talk about budgets and financial planning. Should be good. =)

We're going to the corn maze on Friday night and carving pumpkins on Saturday. =)

I've recently decided that fall is my favorite.
And pumpkin shaped candy corn. lol Even though I've YET to see it in this state. =)

I think I'm gonna go crawl into that cozy bed that God has prepared for me. lol

Goodnight world....
Love and miss you Oregonians! =)

God is blowing my mind right now!

Ok....Honest truth, I have NO clue where to start. Because....
a) My fingers can't type fast enough
2) My brain is bursting with things to say
III) I CANNOT stop giggling and talking a MILLION miles an hour telling stories. (poor Renee...)

I am overwhelmed.

Or, in the words of Claire "Jesus is BLOWING my mind right now!"

Or the words of Tim Chambers, *spoken in an awesome Tim-voice* "Yah, God. You're GOOD!"

ha.

Ok...moving on.

This week absolutely blew my mind.

I don't care what anyone says, we have an amazing team of people. After Tim spoke on spiritual gifts I was amazed at how my view of my teamates changed. When i looked at them, i really felt like I saw them in a different light. Not focusing so much on how they function in our team.....but more on what kinds of gifts God has blessed them with. and it was AMAZING to see everyone grow in those gifts over a period of 4 days! God.....is blowing my mind! =)

After this week, I have learned so so many things but on thing that I've really grown in is learning to be obedient to God's voice. Tim talked about how every church service should include spiritual gifts being used....and also about how when we keep spiritual gifts to ourselves, or don't share a word that God has given us, we are actually hurting the church. Because God has given us something to contribute, to edify other people, and we are keeping it to ourselves. When he said that, I was immediately like...."Oh....my gosh. WHAT the heck am I thinking!" I mean....Honestly, I find myself second guessing (fairly often) when God places a word of knowledge on my heart or nudges me to do something. I sometimes convince myself that I've just made it up in my head....ignoring the pounding of my heart in my chest. Whoa. NOT OK.

At that moment when Tim said that, I felt so convicted! After that moment, I was challenged multiple times with speaking out the sometimes odd or crazy things that God would place on my heart. But it never failed to be what SOMEONE needed to hear. I even approached a girl that I felt like I needed to pray for, not knowing what to say, and before I knew it, I'm crying out to God and sobbing....And I was like, "Dude...these words are NOT coming from me." I mean, I don't even know what I said. But the second I opened my mouth, God gave me the words. It was incredible.

That was just a small example of what God did this weekend. It AMAZED me how we would spend all day doing things...and have parties in the evening, and every hang-out time turned into an intense worship and prayer session with people being touched and lives being changed. Only by the grace of God does that happen! One night I was just looking around the room at all these college-age kids worshiping their guts out and it just hit my how incredible of a sight that was! I mean, honestly.....no one wanted to play games.....or hang out....or go somewhere, we were all in agreement that worshiping God was more exciting than any of those things. How often does that happen?

The entire team was just incredible. We all clicked in a crazy way. I have never seen so many man-tears in my life! It was awesome! I mean....God shook people up. In an intense way.

Last night, we stayed up until 4am.......*Yawn* We had an amazing talked (Initiated by the boys) about how the guys can relate to the girls in more of a brother/sister kinda way. It was really cool. We, of course, felt honored that they cared enough to ask our opinions about it and I think they really appreciated our advice. It was an amazing discussion.

Afterwards we spent literally hours going around the room and saying positive things that we noticed about each person, one at a time. It was so amazing to hear what people had to say! Everyone was really encouraged by it.

Then we had a time of talking with just our own teammates and discussing things we learned and also things we need to improve on. That was REALLY good. Josiah and I got some things off our chest. (Praise God...) Chris was really encouraged by what God had done in his life. (He is LITERALLY a different person. His entire face changed. =) lol) And Dillon and I also worked through a small problem. Basically it all boiled down to a need for better communication, and more importantly, Scheduled team worship times that are HIGH priority instead of "whenever we have time" Because.....whenever-we-have-time means.....Never. =)

Leaving today was a little sad. But, also exciting. Because, the changes that we each made are so intense that I KNOW our team is going to be stronger because of it. We all learned so much about ourselves and each other. Today I found myself sitting on the couch looking across the room at Chris, Dillon, and Josiah...and just smiling because I was SO proud of them. They REALLY are amazing men of God and SO in awe of God's love for them....and hungry to receive everything that He has for them. It's pretty incredible.

On the way home Chris and I talked (for literally nearly 4 hours)
And we discussed the top three things of the week. Here's what I decided on:
1) God faithfulness revealed and proven over and over again!
2) My new awareness and appreciation for the spiritual gifts that God has placed in me and is continuing to grow.
3) This new community that I am a part of! Dillon and I were talking about how insane it was when we were hanging out with these people. I mean, it literally felt like this group and setting was what God was intending when he described the church. Just....so much passion and zeal to seek God in every single aspect and at all times! Insane.

God is blowing my mind right now! =)

*sigh*

I can't wait for our next training week. It's going to be a blast. And while I really do love all of the other people on year teams in the US.......I wouldn't trade my guys for ANY one of them. I feel like my appreciation and love for them has been multiplied by a trillion this week. I just can't WAIT to see what God is going to do in and through them! They each have such unique giftings. And together, the 4 of us WILL DO amazing things. And what's even cooler- is that it's NOT because of us. Nope, it's not! =) Jesus....did it all.

In worship this week one thing that kept coming back to be was just how in AWE I am that the GOD of the UNIVERSE chooses ME to speak to. AHHH!!!

"Who am I that you would be mindful of me?"

I mean, really, think about it? That's intense stuff....

Anyways, It's 1:30am...I haven't gotten nearly enough sleep lately and I have a full day tomorrow.

But AHHH I could go on and on for hours. But...I'm going cross eyed sitting here. And anyone who knows me knows that that's a PRETTY big deal....since I can't cross my eyes...

Oh man.....God, WHAT do you have planned!?!?! Something huge, I have no doubt.

So exciting, I could just dance. =)

I'll probably blog more tomorrow.....cuz I'm sure there are things I left out. I'm just kinda on overload right now. But it's OK! I like it. =)

Love you all.....

P.S.
Christmas is right around the corner! =)

Gah! Lee's Summit, MO!

Oh my goodness sakes.

I don't even know where to start!

Today was day one of training in Lee's Summit. We arrived yesterday evening, met most everyone and hung out for a little before Arlee and I had to head back to our host home. We lucked out.

FIRST of all...I get to stay with Arlee who happens to be quite cool. She's form St. Joe, MO and is doing year team in Portsmouth, NH. So...yeah....she's cool. SECOND of all....the house we're staying at is huge...and gorgeous...and the family here is ridiculously hospitable... Thank you God!

Ok....so today we headed to the church around 9 and had worship for an hour. Then Tommy Stanley (Lead pastor of Grace Church here in Lee's Summit) spoke to us about worship and singing a new song to the Lord. It was AMAZING! Because, I'll be honest, worship is something I'm quite passionate about...and I feel like I'm somewhat knowledgeable on the subject. I mean, every verse he had us read, was ALREADY underlined in my Bible.

HOWEVER; I can honestly say that I have never looked at Worship in quite the same way as we did today. Holy Crud. I was like....blown away! When we got done with our talk....we had a time where we were all supposed to sing our own song to the Lord. And I don't mean all at the same time....like....Tommy played the guitar and we took turns singing a song.....a song we didn't know....but a song that God gave to us right in that moment. And wow. How retarded is it that I have never done that before??? I mean, sure I do that to myself...or I sing quietly in between verses of a song....but I've never grabbed a mic, sang a song from the Lord for the purpose of edifying Him, or encouraging the church. I KNOW that this is a gift that God has given me. There isn't a doubt in my mind. It's just a matter of me being more confident in it. Alrighty then....now that we have THAT out in the open. =)

Ok...So...then we had lunch, and Tim Chambers (Pastor of the church in Joplin) spoke to us on Spiritual gifts. Holy. Macaroni. THAT BLEW MY MIND!!!!! I was just like......in awe the entire time we were talking, and writing so fast trying not to miss anything. We went through the lists in scripture talking about all of the different spiritual gifts....and let me tell you, there are ALOT! And we discussed each one and kind of it's purpose. And also discussed just Spiritual gifts in general and how we can see evidence of those.

One thing that he said really stuck out to me. He was talking about how there should be evidence of the Holy Spirit moving when we gather together for church. And gave the example of his wife calling her mom after church and asking her, "How was church today?" And her mom's response was something along the lines of, "What do you MEAN how was church? It was church....the same as it always is!"

Whoa. Our church services and gatherings should be FILLED with exciting and NEW things that God is revealing to us personally and to the body as a whole! That's what God intends...and that's what God promises!

We also talked about the verse that says that God has given spiritual gifts to EVERY BELIEVER. Every......every single one. Got it? =) Meaning, just because you don't use or practice a spiritual gift does NOT mean that you don't have one. It's means that you aren't aware of it, or sensitive to it, or just plain ignore it. =) Bad idea....trust me. It's worth it to USE IT. =)

We went through a somewhat long list of different spiritual gifts, where the Bible talks about them and then what their meaning or function is. Then afterward he asked us to all pick 2 spiritual gifts that we wanted and we were going to pray for that.

Again I say, WHOA! Intense....

So...we went down the line, everyone chose 1 or 2. Or I chose 3 cuz I couldn't decide. lol (2 were similar and tied together....lol)

Anyways, then we prayed to either receive those gifts if we didn't already have them, or just for the confidence to USE the gifts that we know we have but don't daily walk in. IT. WAS. INTENSE! (I feel like I've used that word alot in this blog. lol But...it's fairly accurate and I can't think of a better one to use.)

Then tonight we had dinner and hang out time at the Stanley's house. And after we played games, we were like, hey- let's worship! =) So...we did! We sang...and people had words for other people. And we prayed for them. And God showed up. And changes took place. I HONESTLY can tell you that lives were changed. How powerful is that?

Lately when I'm in the presence of God, I find myself doing 1 of 2 things.... Either I'm
a) LAUGHING! Because I don't know what to DO about all this joy that's like freakin' bursting out of me! or...
b) CRYING! Because I'm so in awe and overwhelmed that the God of the Universe speaks to me and more amazingly, THROUGH me! ME! Yes, me. Intense, I know. =)

ANOTHER thing God is showing me is a new love for Dillon, Chris, and Josiah. They really are all three amazing men of God. and I am SO thankful to be on a team with them! I KNOW without a doubt that GOD placed us together and it's just so exciting because we all have so many things to learn from each other and we all contribute to the team in such a different way. I just, love those dudes. =) I honestly believe that God placed me on a team with all men to teach me that there ARE men in this world that are worth loving. Because.....not gonna lie.......I have had my doubts. I mean, I have trust issues sometimes. And being on a team with these guys is forcing me to trust them.......when I didn't even know them. And it was hard for me at first. But, it's only been like 1 1/2 months and already we have this bond....and I know without a doubt that they love me like a sister and they stick up for me...and genuinely care about me and how I'm doing. It's amazing. And what's more amazing is that God has given me a brotherly love for them! When I see these guys having a hard time, I want to fix the problem- take away their hurt and I LOVE it when I see God revealing Himself to them in a new way...and watching their response to it. It's just great all around. =) I don't know what else to say. I'm running out of words and probably boring you...lol

Anyways, Tomorrow we have part 2 of each of those messages we heard today and I am POSITIVE that it's going to be amazing! Can't wait to see what God speaks to everyone. And to me! AND I can't wait to be obedient and respond to it! EVEN IF it takes boldness.... =)

What an amazing day. I think I'll go to sleep. =)

Love you all...

Song of the day & more...

"40"
Jason upton

I will not fear as I wait for the dawn, if you'll keep on holding my hand.
I'm crying out from the depths of my soul, with words I just can't understand.
You have set my feet upon a rock that's not moving.
You have placed a song of hope in my heart, and I'm singing. I'm praying.

Lord, do not hold back your loving kindness.
Lord, do not hold back your mercy.
You are the way and the truth that guides us
Everyday you are the one who preserves me.

This song is my hearts cry. I'm not sure what exactly is making me feel this way...but for some reason I just need one of those mom-hugs today. You know, the kind that ONLY your OWN mom can give you? Yeah, one of those. And one of those dad-hugs that I always try to resist. And a little sister hug.....and a little (although he's taller) brother hug. There aren't really any other hugs on earth that can replace those hugs.

I'm ok, mom. (don't buy a plane ticket!) =)

It's just one of those days. =)
Tomorrow will be better.

Yesterday we worked at the church building until 5...then headed out to go camping with the 4th-6th grade class at Jubilee. (Once again I wasn't exactly thrilled about this trip initially, but was reminded of how God has a way of humbling me when I start to get an attitude about things....they usually end up being the most amazing times! Ugh...I'm impossible sometimes!)

Anyways, We drove to Illinois to stay on some property owned by someone from Jubilee. It was beautiful out there! (Maybe that's what brought this on...) I mean, don't get me wrong, I DO miss mountains....and fir trees...and the crisp Oregon air....but It was STILL beautiful. And so peaceful...

We had a great time roasting hot dogs & marshmallows, playing in-the-dark games, and Daniel even taught the kids a little about China...and we had an amazing time of prayer. I sat there, in the dark, the familiar smell of fire wood burning, listening to these 10 year olds pray for people in China, and of course had to shed a tear or two. Those kids can PRAY! I was totally shocked...and amazed at the things they prayed for. It blessed me so much.

Today we had breakfast together and played outdoor games. The kids had a really good time. While we were in the woods, we played the spider web game. (anyone who's gone to China knows what I'm talking about!) Anyways, so we're out there...and again, I'm stinkin getting emotional just missing everyone...and as I'm walking around, I was thinking to myself, "I WONDER if they have those furry little striped yellow and black caterpillars here?" I always smile when I find one of those hangin out on a leaf in Oregon. lol So...just cuz I was being weird, I said out loud "I wish I could find a caterpillar! Jesus, help me find a caterpillar!" I got a funny look or two. =) Oh well.... He could do it, right? I mean...honestly, he could just zap one from Oregon to Missouri like BAM. =) Don't laugh! It's true....

So...anyways, we went on with our day and I got to ride the 4 wheeler. =) There's just something amazing about that feeling of the wind blowing in your face. (There's a small chance that I might be a country girl. I love all of these things WAY too much!) Then we had lunch together. I found myself praying alot throughout the day...something about that atmosphere that just makes me wanna chat with Jesus. =)

After a fun afternoon of exploring and stuff we cleaned up camp. And I was in QUITE the giggly mood as we were taking down the tents. The boys were cracking me up today. They were all in goofy moods. I love days like that. =) I'm so thankful for my team. Really, I am. (Someone remind me of this moment on days when I want to wring their necks!)

So, Dillon and I are attempting to take down the huge tent and we were having a HECK of a time getting all the air out of the stinkin thing to roll it up...so we were like throwing our bodies on the ground to smash the air out... =) And I'm laying on the tent.....my face almost on the ground, (Who cares, I was nasty gross at this point anyways! lol) And I look down.....and there, on the stinkin Missouri stinkin ground...........

A Caterpillar.

=O

Ugh. God is so good.

Caterpillars are stupid! It's not like they're super significant.....but I wanted to see one...I prayed about it....and I found one. i mean, God brought me one. =)

Now, go ahead and laugh at my little story if you'd like. But let me just tell you something, when you pray about some silly little thing, and the GOD of the UNIVERSE answers your prayer, you feel pretty loved.

=) That was pretty much the extent of my story. Sorry it's so scatter brained. lol

I'm going to go finish laundry and pack. We have 2 services tomorrow morning and then we leave immediately after church to go to Lees Summit for training week with all the other year teamers! Hooray!!!

=) I'm excited. Exhausted, but excited.

Thanks for reading my post.... =)

There is a time to study, a time to dance, and a time to breathe...

Its official....the hype of the new college environment has died down. This isn't necessarily a good thing or a bad thing, just a thing.

I'm finally to the point where the true Gina-ness is starting to come out. The sarcasm, the whit, the charm, but even more prominently the part that makes me want to just scream at people who are being stupid. But I can tell you that I have still managed to keep my self control entact throgh all of this. :)

This week has brought a lot of firsts (good/bad)....

the first weekend spent studying instead of doing fun things.

the first witness of illegal drugs being openly flaunted in downtown

the first intramural volleyball game (we OWNED by the way. :))

the first day consisting of 4 tests in a row

the first D grade I have ever gotten on a test (in a subject I totally thought I aced.)

also the first A grade on a test (thank you Lebanon Christian School for making me take Bible)

the first tears since moving day.

the first night of looking at my wall pictures for 20 min. straight.

the first bad news.

the first pre-health and science club meeting. (yeah!)

the first roommate dissagreement

and the first visit from dad.

If you can't tell from the list of firsts, it has been a pretty rough week. It's finally setting in that this is really real. There is no such thing as not meeting someone because they aren't in your classes or don't hang out with the same crowd you do. Oh no. You kind of just have to accept the fact that you are probably going to meet everyone at one point or another. You, however; determine whether you will be friends with that person or not. Thats just how it works.

So yeah...getting used to the permanent aspect of college. As well as the academic aspect of it. Just so everybody knows, I AM still liking it, and I DO still have fun. I'm just venting a little about life and the curveballs it likes to throw us sometimes.

Hopefully everyone is enjoying their Friday. :)

Miss you guys in Lebanon, and Missouri and especially Missouri....:)

-Gina