One year ago today....

It's 10 am here in St. Louis....we're having a time of team worship and prayer...and as I'm sitting at my desk.....I'm thinking about where I was one year ago today. I remember because it's October 16th and today is Daniel's birthday. I was SO excited for his birthday...I love giving people presents. At this point in my life I was putting all of my identity in this relationship that was letting me down all the time. I had something extravagant planned for this special day...and once again, we started the day out by getting into a fight about something. I don't even remember what it was. The entire day was miserable. And I was devastated...

I remember one year ago today being a hopeless place. (or seemingly hopeless....) I wanted so badly to be once again in God's arms willing to do whatever He had for me, but I was SO distracted...and felt so far from what God had for me. Like...even if I DID try to get "right with God" it would be so hard and take so long that it almost seemed not worth it.

So...as I sit here right now, I'm once again, in awe of God's love for me. ONE YEAR ago...(That's not very long...) I was in a really awful place. NOT serving God with my whole heart and feeling hopeless. HOPELESS!?!?!? Hopeless couldn't be further from the truth.... It's never hopeless!

But LOOK where God has brought me? Wow. I don't even have the words to express how I feel. While I'm sitting here the song "Mighty to save" came on....

Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.

So take me as You find me,
All my fears and failures,
Fill my life again.

I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in,
Now I surrender.

Wow again. I don't know what else to say...

Today is an interesting day for me..... I mean, a part of me is still sad inside. I care about Daniel. I no longer feel obligated to "help him" find his way to God....but I do care. And it's hard to see someone that you care about throwing their life away. But the other part of me wants to rejoice because GOD is SO GOOD! HE is the reason that I'm here today following Him.

"All of my life,
in every season,
YOU are still God
I have a reason to sing.
I have a reason to worship."

Not sure why I felt the need to share all this....but I did. Perhaps someone can relate to it or be encouraged by it.

Alright....better get started on my last few chapters of God's Lavish Grace...

Love and miss you all!