God speaks in such random ways & I love it

FIRST of all- small side note: The other day, I was listening to this John Mayer song, "Heartbreak Warfare" and...all of the sudden I found myself sobbing. Not because of anything the song specifically said, but because God totally revealed something intense to me through that song. I was sobbing and laughing. Because, God truly does have a sense of humor. I'd encourage you to try asking God to speak to you through everyday ordinary things. It's kinda amazing how He answers that prayer. =)

Ok- It's just recently hit me how LITTLE time I have left here! More than once now I've had Ben's "Finish Strong!" or "How to Remain Spiritual all Summer Long" sermon floating around in my head. (I wish I could remember it better...lol)

One thing I feel really strongly about is not just "fading out." I don't want this last month-ish to be dull and lifeless. Instead I want to GROW and grab hold of everything I can while I'm here.

This morning as I was getting ready- I was thinkin about how it would be SO much easier to just kinda start focusing on home and getting things in order there, starting to distance myself from people and things here.

Then I was thinking about this new game I learned the other night- Blockus. (welcome to the randomness that is my brain)

A few nights ago, I played for the first time with Seth and Shannon and totally lost. But yesterday when I played with Shannon, I won both times. The only difference was, when I played for the first time I was focusing on which pieces were mine, looking at the occupied spaces and seeing how I could connect the pieces I had with those other pieces. And, well....it didn't work all that well. Because towards the end of the game, I was left with these huge pieces that wouldn't fit anywhere because the board was filling up.

When I played with Shannon, I tried a new strategy- as the game got going, I starting to look at the empty spaces and tried to fit my pieces in those spots. It OBVIOUSLY worked better since I won both times. (Shannon, sorry I had to bring this up...lol) 

ANYWAYS, this is a ridiculous analogy. BUT, God really did speak to be through it. Reminding me that my time here is coming to an end. But I still have specific things to do and to learn. And INSTEAD of focusing on all the things I've already done, and being sad about this season coming to and end, I need to focus on filling in these last few gaps with the perfectly shaped pieces that God has given me.

Here's the thing- I AM excited to go home. Somewhere deep inside of me, I AM excited. =) HOWEVER, this year has been by far the biggest growth year that I've had in my life. I truly am a different person. And Dill, Jo, the leaders and members of Jubilee, and all of my new friends and family have played such a HUGE role in this unique and treasured time in my life that I will always think of St. Louis and Jubilee as my second home and leaving them is really sad to my ridiculously-sentimental self. =)

That being said, I DO know without a doubt that God is preparing the way for me in Lebanon. Each time I talk to someone back home I see just how God's hand really is in my decision to go back and I'm excited to transition back into things there.

In the meantime- I'm not going to rush my time here. Still trying to find the balance of responsibly having things in order for when i get back, but as Ray Lamontagne would say, "being here now"


Alrighty...that's all for now.
Peace out cub scout.