Sundays are difficult for me.
10am....church is starting here in St.Louis....but all I can think about is how worship practice is just getting started back at home. *sigh* I MISS everyone....I miss singing....and I even miss being picked on by Frank!
It's weird...but going to church has been the most difficult thing for me so far. It's SO weird to go from being the one greeting the guests to the one being greeted. It kind of makes makes me excited to go back home and put more effort into making people feel welcome. But at the same time, no matter how welcoming people are or how many people greet me, it's still one of the loneliest feelings I've ever felt.
So, as I stood in worship today....I didn't know a couple of the songs and I found myself starting to dwell on the fact that as I looked around, not a single one of these people really knows me...and I don't know the songs...and everything here is so different...and blah blah blah. You know, the typical pity-mode that we all get into occasionally. And I started to pray....
And suddenly I remembered two things:
1) On my last Sunday at the River Center, Katie Krueger had a vision......of me....walking in an unfamiliar place, and God...facing me, walking backwards holding both of my hands. And as I walked, I kept my eyes focused on him and not on anything around me.
2) Jackie Blondell also had a word for me about abiding in the Lord....and told me to read Psalm 27.
Here are a couple of sections of that chapter that stick out to me:
"The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life, of whom shall I be afraid? When evildoers assail me to eat up my flesh, my adversaries and foes, it is they who stumble and fall. Though an army encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war arise against me, yet I will be CONFIDENT"
"He will hide me in His shelter in the day of trouble; He will conceal me under the cover of His tent; He will lift me high upon a rock. And now my head shall be lifted up above all enemies around me above all my enemies around me, and I will offer in his tent sacrifices with shouts of joy; I will SING and make MELODY to the Lord"
"Hear, O LORD, when I cry aloud; be gracious to me and answer me!"
"You have said, 'Seek my face.' My heart says to you, 'your face, Lord, do I seek.'"
"I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! Wait for the Lord, be strong and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!"
Who am I to worry? GOD, in his perfect timing, has placed me here.
What more do I need to know?
Church isn't the same without you here! You are missed!! We love you!! The Kirklands
ReplyDeleteOh, my sweet Brittney.... You make my heart break and sing for joy all at the same time.
ReplyDeleteBreak because you are lonely and you miss the familiarity of your home church and the people that you know so well and have grown to love.
Sing for joy, because what more could a mother want than for her daughter to be right where God wants her to be, doing exactly what God wants her to be doing? It's what I have prayed for since the day I first placed my arms around your 7 pound 8 ounce sweet little body.
Honestly, I miss you more than you know. I miss your crabbiness in the morning, I miss your bad morning breath, I miss working with you in the kitchen, I miss laughing at your silliness, I miss knowing that you will be home at night, don't have any idea what time, but you WILL be home, I miss just talking with you face-to-face. You have always been an amazing girl, and I have always known that God had an incredible plan for your life.
Your dad and I are so very proud of you, and pray that you will become familiar to the people there (but not too familiar).
Hang in there Brittney, Christmas is only 115 days away....that means 110 until you get to come home!
Like Katie's word over you....keep your eyes focused on God, He will take you where He wants you to go and He will be the strength that you need.
I love you, Brittney.
Love,
Your mom